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OPINION: Never replace understanding with entitlement

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By Benson Amanya

When I was a teenager, deep in me I felt I was entitled to better schools, better economic lifestyle all to be given by my parents. I didn’t pay due attention to their economic status not even the how-tools of their earning.

Later on during our secondary School holidays our father, invited us to work with him. This translated into a chance to see how hard it was earning his money. Indeed it was his money not my money. This then made it clear to me that I needed to understand, appreciate the benefi ts of his hard labor as I now felt less entitled.

I can comfortably suggest that, there should even be, an expiry date on blaming our parents [that is if we have to] in case they steered us in wrong direction. The moment we are old enough to take the wheel the responsibility is now in our hands not them.

Many are the times when we get so attached to shares even where we aren’t shareholders. We so much want to reap where we don’t cultivate, propagate and formulate. This gives us enough room for distress and embarrassment.

Not every fellow employee must contribute, attend your function even if you have been there for them in times of need. In case some don’t do so, please understand their point of view and let this not affect your work relationship. If we abandon whoever is in our circles that received an invitation card and didn’t turn up for our different functions, who then shall we remain with?

In my own view, entitlement is a delusion built on self-centeredness, laziness and conditional-hypocritical love. Recently, one of our friends with who whom we share a WhatsApp media group, posted in-there, seeking some inquiry in the mid morning hours when many group participants were offline.

An hour later after seeing no response, he posted his last group comment before exiting, “I feel uncared for, I don’t deserve to be here.” We were amused and shocked by his attitude after getting online. It wouldn’t have gone this far. May be the timing was not the best but not that people were uncaring. It takes a certain level of understanding, to know that not everyone who reads your post on social media will comment.

To some, commenting and chatting is not their best practice but they follow through, others read and comment later at their pace and to others, social media is not their thing even when they are signed in. Can we be patient enough to our: Partners, parents, Friends, acquaintances, family members, relatives, in-laws, workmates, and fellowship mates, leaders, clientele, pastors, fraternities minus expecting from them.

At times we do not have to allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in our lives. If we let this to happen, sooner than later we will be out of balance hence in the negative.

Know your limits

One needs to know the limits in their life’s “Savings & Deposit Account.” A sense of entitlement in any relationship only justifi es one’s selfi shness and this leaves nothing more but a clear message that your behavior is disrespectful. Over rating our expectations in a relationship is so deadly.

When we do so, this guarantees loss of: the sense of proportion, respect, dignity, humility and gratitude. Service and gratitude fuel relationship, entitlement and hiked expectations poison it.

The writer is a student of Divinity and Theology at Uganda Christian University bentamanya@gmail.com

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