By Frank and Emma Bisase
Where are the good men? This is a question that is common among female conversations. Some will argue that a good man is one who has it all, or perhaps, a perfect one.
But the definition of a good man is not perfection. A good man is one who invests in personal growth, faith and social responsibility.
Society makes it look like a good man does not exist. That does not mean you need to change your standards. The truth is: good men do exist.
Stand by your standards if they are in line with God’s Word.
There are still a few good men out here trying to find you, good women. But how can you identify them?
These are the traits to look for while courting:
Emotional stability
Men are disturbingly emotional creatures. Contrary to popular belief, they cry and hurt and deny everything.
But because society deems this a weakness, it may look unattractive.
Society has shaped men to suffer and not express their emotions, a trait that is leading them into depression.
But it is a good trait for men to recognise their emotional struggles and open up. One has to take hold of their emotional constitution and know where one lacks.
Being humble enough and seeking help to fix them is good for a man and those around him. This is for sure a great trait for a man.
Financial intelligence
A man who does not know how to save and invest is a problem. Most men were taught to be hard working, but many of them might not have been taught how to invest.
It is common for men today to opt for quick money schemes that are half-baked.
This is because our idea of wealth is skewed; people want money for social media likes and social praises, but not generational wealth.
No one cares if you have an eighty thousand dollar car, but your children’s children will appreciate you more if there’s family trust and assets. Good men see all these and they invest.
A good man works for tomorrow because he has learned that financial freedom is integral to a righteous life. Women need to look out for this.
Spiritual identity
Women should pay attention to the spirituality of a man. A good man knows and fears God. Faith and spirituality are private endeavors for social relevance.
A man who knows God for himself has a counselor, a helper and a hope in a world where introspection is almost a myth.
Matters big and small, he will take to his counselor and God. Also, watch out for the man’s hutch relationships, spiritual mentors and partners.
This grounds a man in a tribe that is bigger than them and tapers their pride and esteem.
A good man has no reason to spend twelve hours in church when there is work to be done. Their faith is advertised by a lifestyle designed by the fruits of the spirit.
This man does not have to tell you about their patience. Their actions reveal it.
Valuable
A good man has to be known for what they produce. I know, many can read this and feel a certain way, but a man needs to dispense value to his community through skill and profession, regardless of what it is.
It is common in this era for young men to want to be musicians or fame chasers or work “corporate” jobs.
Not many are building skills that can help them and also serve their community. If your skill cannot spark a business or meet a community need, think twice.
The reason why a good man has to have a skill or profession is: apart from earning from it, it breeds a professional discipline with money and time.
Social value
A good man has friends who he relies, and the friends too, rely on him. These are people he shares values and dreams with.
Often these people provide counsel when he strays too far or provide moral support when he is challenged.
Seeing your partner through other people’s eyes certifies what you are seeing for yourself; kindness, hard work, smartness, faith and more.
Love does not have to be blind if you can contrast these traits.
Finding a good man is not a lottery. It is a process. Most good ones often make the worst first impressions and are average-looking.
But because women have been programmed by movies to look for a Chris Hemsworth or Idris Alba, they miss out.
Good men are out there, the question is: are you preparing to meet one?
The writers are a couple and members of the Married Fellowship,
House of Revival Church, Kisaasi.
emmakakai1@gmail.com
